The Colorful Mosaic

And I had disappeared again, like always. Not because I was busy but simply lazy. I hope everyone has been doing good. And while I was away a lot of interesting things, I did, do not worry or be excites I am not going to write about my love life and its spices here ;)

I had a retina detachment in my left eye which was followed by surgery which was followed by me being home with a pirate eye (ha.ha. it was cool) and painful. The TV remote was locked and the mobile phone confiscated, I listened to TV lying on the couch and discovered I had such a wonderful gift- that of seeing. How each of us are taking it for granted and how vision would chart one's life. Anyway, I do not want to be preachy, but it was great to know that it has not ruined my eye sight and I wish to do something for those who do not have this gift.

While lying there I also felt how bored I was of the rut of office and work and there was no zest in life for doing something new left in me. I was becoming, boring, monotonous and OLD. So I decided to something about it till I had the opportunity to do so. So I quit and now I am on my own. It is a learning arc and will be here for quite a bit while I struggle my way up or someway. But the feeling is pretty liberating than being in office and making presentations, no offences , I am just not that kind of a person.

In the celebration of being unemployed and workless I went on a vacation with friends, did a lot of  necessary catching up and antics that were pending since long. Although it feels insecure, I am enjoying the insecurity, so all those whose heart is not where it should be, you should get out of what you are doing and do what you want to. At the end everything is a struggle but doing something I do not like will make life more difficult.

Why am I writing all this random incident of the last 7-8 months here is coz I want people to read, to know that not everything that you feel is a bad idea is actually a bad idea, till u do not give it a shot u will never know. I have had an insightful year and wanted to share it.

We were not born to be guided by school books and office files, its one life there is much more to do then crib about pending work and ugly colleagues.

This is just an experience that I have shared, we all have our own perceptions and priorities so if someone loves the files and the indoors please feel free to continue and not blame me for putting another thought in your head.

Hope you liked reading the post. Till Later! Cheers!!

“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair”

― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

2004-2009

‘Last evening my alma mater celebrated its 8th birthday and its first at a sprawling 51 acre campus.’

The old campus building and its “new” make shift class rooms each year, the hope always was this would be the last. The last never came and it was time to say good-bye to college days. The hostel, its creaky gates, rusty doors, the big tree and the endless gossip all ended so soon. It took me months to realise that I would never be going back to those classes again to chat, crib, laugh incessantly, eat the mess food and stay up all night. The trips to the hostel were initially once in 2 weeks, then once a month, then for some one’s birthday, by the time our convocation came a year later, I had not paid a visit for 3 months and then the next came when the second batch left. As familiar faces were replaced by non-descript little people moving about, who would tomorrow be identified as one of our own, I now realise we have grown up since the care free happy.

The feeling of last evening was completely different. There it was the new campus, all shiny, glittery, pretty and right out of our dreams. The WOW! Moment.  We strolled around, saw the new buildings, classes’ hostels, mess, everything so well organised so clutter free, so different from what we had been given. But there was this emptiness, that although it was “ÖUR CAMPUS” it was not. There were very few familiar faces and no old memories at all. They had not only left behind the old campus, but also our memories of half a decade. I could associate with people but not feel the warmth of being on the Old campus. So, although this is the campus and this is where all of us graduated from and this is where all the coming batches would also pass out from, my college was the one in that rickety building in Sector 26, GIDC Electronic Estate, Gandhinagar.

Forever Friends

I resumed office last week after my fall and my vacation thus ended :( So I took a week to recover from the shock :)

So here I am, back to work, lazy, more than ever before. 

I am slowly returning to normal life, driving, going out in crowds, meeting friends etc. anyway, this post is about something special, rather someone actually someones. these someones are "friends" I made in college, and before I knew it they were "family" and of course when you spend 5 years of your teenage life in a new college with new friends and everything new, you tend to just stick a little more together, coz that’s all you can do to not feel lonely.

When I left college, we all thought, living in the same city we will never separate and keep a track of each other every single minute like we did for the last 5 years, and it did last for a while, there was no leaving each other’s side, irrespective if the other wanted it or not. Things change and they always do, so then slowly the daily meetings turned to weekends, the weekends to fortnight and the fortnight to months. People left city, country in some cases, and life still drags us at its own pace. The slow transition from teenage to adulthood. The feeling that, somewhere something will always remain empty, that I left a part of me in my hostel premises, where that “ME” still lives and will forever do, laughing, hi-fing, revising at 4am, running in circles. That some people did not enjoy college as much but then that’s where we met and that’s what is most important.

There is no particular reason for this nostalgia except that I wish I was still there to be assured and re-assured that we were all saidling in the same ship. We have all become so busy or fearful or so confident that the re-assurances are not asked for neither given. That I do not just walk out of my room and have someone look at me and ask, kya hua, chehra utra hua kyun hai? Chal maar kea aate hai… If wishes were horses……….

And this one is to those someone’s who looked after me, loved me and cared for me and still do. For those persons in whose blogs I continuously find a mention and I chuckle.

The falling Child

All my life I have been a falling child with an attention deficiency syndrome. My mother's nightmare. Every single day she would dread, a new injury was on its way. I must have scrapped my knees and elbows at least a 100 times over and the cat and dog scratches excluded. But I have never broken a bone in my life. And as I grew older and the falling reduced, my mom was the happiest person, she had sailed through the worst years without a broken limb! Haash!!

At 27, when the child is no more a child and my Mom was having a relieved life, the big day came. I missed a step, fell and broke MY ANKLE: 2 CRACKS. And as soon as the doc said, PLASTER, ONE MONTH, the look on my Ma's face was that of disbelief and shock. There went down all her prayers, all these years, How would she get me down to sit still at one place for 30 DAYS.

Day 4 and I have been relaxing, reading books,writing this blog, facebook-ing, clicking pictures etc. This one is for you Mom, the chilled attitude, so I do not cause more stress to you. For u have been great and taking care forever.

I click a lot of pics and am social networking fan. I went to dance class and sat there, clicked everyone's pics and laughed. Whoever calls me or comes to meet tells me U ARE HAVING A BLAST! And actually, yes I am having a BALL OF A TIME, Compulsory resting at Home, with my sister's brings back memories of childhood and summer vacations. As it is the fall was not in my hands, but how I take it, is.. So i am having fun as much as I can. What has to be has to be, The trouble is in reacting to it, So here I am Smiling it away and partying and asking everyone to join in!!

And I would never recommend breaking a bone, especially your ankle, it is the most horrible thing ever.

So have fun and till next time Ciao!

Letting Go

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 

Sometimes it just snaps. And everything that looked perfect till that moment,  starts looking a little misty, at times dark and foggy. All of us have or will face such crisis situation every now and then. It is the strength at this moment which is commendable. 

Letting go is one of the most difficult things ever. Kicking yourself out of your comfort zone and figuring things out by yourself is hard and heart breaking. Especially for those who have always had someone by their side to look up to or hold. You have by then forgotten that when you reached that someone you found the way yourself. But its just way beyond reasoning to explain it to yourself. 

At that very moment I hope someone somewhere finds me and picks me up and puts everything just back in place. All the problems, suddenly are the craving, all that I wanted to escape is exactly what I want now. If I could get one more chance I would start all over again, and so I know what to say, to whom, when and where. Of all the words, it freaking feels BAD, like someone punched you in the stomach and now u cannot even thow-up

So when you read this and feel you are down in the dumps and wish there was someone who could actually do something about the situation,  pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and say, great! there is one more like me.

After very long

Its been so long since I wrote here or anywhere almost a year.

But looking back I was just not too willing to write. I suddenly feel like sharing, putting feelings into words.

There is so much that happened over the weeks, which cannot be told coz no one would actually want to hear it or even understand, small things which make big differences

• Injury
• Broken friendships
• New beginnings

All change brings with it some pain. It is way too difficult to adjust to a new set of ideas. if it never happened I would never know how it felt. It is just how cozy we get in our comfort zones. 

Of late I have realised, I should not let reactions bother me, coz I would not be able to change their view or even the situation. Live and Let live..

I hope I will write more often.

 

zoiiiing

It was such a long day... Wish there was something tobloor forward to at the end of the day. Those were the days when aimless loitering, masala gossip, tea and friends were the most important things in life.. Dusty files, a computer and sundry language not appropriate to be used here have replaced my carefree days.. Back then those seemed to long, today they seem too short...
Incessant jabber and noisy keyboards, the sweltering april heat and never ending assignments are gone.. I could write what i want on any social network site without the fear of being judged, now it will be unprofessional.. Miss my days!
"It is something unpredictable but in the end its right... I hope u had the time of your life..."